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complained on Thursday that he has foiled their efforts by speaking in a language that is infuriatingly indecipherable. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order stripping the children of immigrant moms of their citizenship, thus disqualifying himself from being President of the United States.WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump warned on Wednesday that a caravan of Democratic girls was heading toward Washington, D.C., with the express purpose of invading the nation’s capital. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling for a right away end” to the recount in Florida, Donald J. Trump warned on Monday that it may set a harmful precedent of

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