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The bi femme trans woman who has been every sexual orientation there is
“Having been bisexual my whole life, I’ve literally dated straight men, gay men, straight women, lesbians, trans women, trans men. I’ve been seen as lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and queer. I’ve been every letter in LGBTQ.
I’ve always identified as bisexual. I mostly dated women prior to transition and mostly dated men after transition. A lot of that is socially enforced by heteronormativity. I liked boys as a boy but wasn’t comfortable being gay, and as a woman I’m attracted to women but am sort of scared of lesbians. I’d heard some awful things, transphobic things, coming out of the lesbian community.
But now, I’ve fallen into this huge crowd of lesbians. And for many of them, I’m the first trans woman in their circle but they don’t seem to have any issues with it. I’m now considered a viable partner in those circles, but I’m the only trans woman.
It’s a struggle for a trans woman to date anyone. It’s hard to find viable partners; we’re seen as a kink or a fetish. As far as I know, I’m generally not read as queer, or as open to [dating] women. Someone I’m dating right now uses masculine and feminine pronouns, and they bind their chest and things like that. They told me that they weren’t sure if they could date me at first.
I’d be open to [dating] a feminine woman. It would be easier with another trans woman, but I’d be afraid that it would be seen as performative or superficial. There’s still a big aspect of culture that sees femininity as a performance. And that’s a trap that a lot of trans women fear, and we’re under more scrutiny that cisgender women.
But that’s the nature of heteronormativity. We internalize it and take it with us. In gay and lesbian relationships you do see that… the traditional gender roles. You do see a lot of masculine people together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two high femme women together, though.
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