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Unicorns How Do You Sleep At Night Knowing People Don’t Like You Shirt, hoodie, tank top

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Unicorns How Do You Sleep At Night Knowing People Don't Like You Shirt

Buy this product here: Unicorns How Do You Sleep At Night Knowing People Don’t Like You Shirt, hoodie, tank top

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Unicorns How Do You Sleep At Night Knowing People Don’t Like You Shirt, hoodie, tank top

“I’m a trans woman and my partner is agender but relatively femme presenting. We’ve been ‘gal pal-ed,’ [meaning people have assumed they are just friends, just ‘gal pals,’ solely because both look feminine] I’ve had my presence questioned at queer women’s events where trans men were welcome, and I’ve basically constantly had to explain why I transitioned if I’m just going to date someone with a vagina.

One time, my roommate was asking me why I don’t date guys and why I didn’t identify as gay before [transitioning]. So even people who are really close and supportive ask these questions. Like, ‘Why are you making this hard on yourself, why did you bother going through it?’

I wear dresses, and I wear makeup every day. Even though I’m presenting in this female way, I don’t feel like they see me…I’m an outsider. Everyone is skewing towards this masculine presentation. I’m seen as a femme cisgender woman a lot of the time.

My coming out as queer often comes along with coming out as trans, which carries a whole different set of connotations and issues. The legitimacy of queer women’s relationships are questioned, and the right for me to exist as a trans woman is questioned, too. And that’s a lot tougher, so if I don’t have to bring it up I won’t. For me, there is a risk to being visible or being ‘out’ as it were. For me, being femme is a defense mechanism. The more femme I am, the more I pass. It’s this balance I have to walk between personal comfort and safety, versus how I want to feel aesthetically and how I want to be perceived by my community.

I want to be able to go to the coffee shop and get hit on by a cute girl. Innately, we still buy into our own assumptions. If we see a femme person, we assume she’s straight. And then it’s awkward—always waiting for confirmation and always meeting in queer spaces. The phrase we use in D.C. Is les-bros: tank top, flat brim cap, sneakers. And they’re the ones who are seen as desirable.”

 

Unicorns How Do You Sleep At Night Knowing People Don’t Like You Shirt, hoodie, tank top
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