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Finally, I attended a weekly stuttering clinic, where patients reclined in lounge chairs and recited phrases together in singsong voices. Unfortunately, this relaxing, fluency-enhancing technique had no impact on my speech outside the clinic.
For me, as is probably true for most stutterers, speech blocks are situational and vary with my sense of acceptance by my audience. I stuttered in the classroom but not with my friends at recess; I stuttered when addressing strangers but not family or small children. I absolutely dreaded being made to speak in class. To avoid the humiliation of standing red-faced and mute and struggling to deliver a book report, I would stay home with a feigned attack of stomach cramps, a tactic that worked reasonably well in elementary school.
In high school, foreign languages were required. I signed up for Hebrew. My teacher, Mrs. Meroe, required every student to read aloud in the order in which we were seated. With heart pounding and palms sweating, I would anxiously scan the sentences ahead. When my turn came, I would gasp for breath like a hooked fish, eventually overcoming the block and reading a sentence or two, after which the teacher would mercifully call on the next student. But this anxiety about classroom performance stayed lodged in my chest. Eventually, Mrs. Meroe agreed to stop calling on me.
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