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Andrew, B. Came out to his parents as trans at around 13 years old, but unlike Andrew, he didn’t want to tell anyone. Because B. Is not out as trans in his school out of fear of bullying and violence, his mom said, they asked that their names and the schools he attended not be disclosed.
B. Didn’t want to come out, but using the girls’ bathroom made him feel anxious, depressed, and disassociated with his gender identity, and using the boys’ was, he believed, too dangerous. So instead, he stopped eating or drinking water during the school day. He was far from alone: around a third of the 27,000 trans adults surveyed by the National Center for Transgender Equality in 2015 reported limiting their food or water intake to avoid using the bathroom. B. Lost weight. When his mom picked him up from school he would be starving, parched, and exhausted. Administrators told him he could use the nurse’s bathroom, but it was on the other side of campus, which meant he wouldn’t have time to go there between classes — and, he noted, even the bathrooms in the nurse’s office were separated by gender.
“It was also just the general attitude at the school — kids would make transphobic jokes and drop the ‘f-bomb’ constantly, and the teachers wouldn’t do anything about it,” his mom said, referring to the anti-gay slur. Recently, she added, she’s seen teachers at that school post anti-trans content online about trans kids playing sports and using the bathrooms. She sent me a screenshot of one high school teacher arguing on Facebook against trans kids being able to use the bathrooms of their choice.
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