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I May Have Nothing To Wear But I Always Have Something To Read Shirt, hoodie, tank top
But, what if his date should show up in a tweed suit of a color similar to that of his pants, close but not exact, which would make this sort of matching hideous? And this is to say nothing of the possibility that she shows up in a plaid dress… It’s one thing for him to mix deliberately and playfully two types of plaid (the greenish of his jacket and the brownish of his tie), because he thinks such a clash can be attractive. But, if she also wears plaid, the contrast would become simply laughable. How can he find out what his date will be wearing? She hasn’t told him to what type of party they’ve been invited. Now that he thinks about it, on the phone she sounded skittish. Even when—hearing her rural accent and brittle voice—he asked her if she had a cold, she answered evasively and rushed to hang up. Perhaps, facing the evidence that there is no human way to know how she’ll be dressed, he’d be better off not taking chances with plaid. This way, at least, he’ll run no risk that, if she shows up in plaid (if she came in a plaid jacket, then he’d have to kill himself), the two of them cut a ridiculous figure. Should he, then, forget about the jacket or the tie? As he muses about this, he makes himself a cup of coffee. He pours the coffee into a glass and drinks it without sweetener.
At last he makes up his mind: he will drop the jacket, for not only is it much more likely that she shows up in a plaid jacket than with a plaid tie, but, should they perchance coincide in that accessory, a tie is always much smaller (and therefore more discreet) than a jacket. OK, which jacket will he wear? The crumpled black one? The more traditional gray one? He tries the gray one on and it becomes obvious that it does not suit him. He takes it off and puts on the black one. But, even though the jacket is crumpled and he’s wearing the gray shirt, he feels he looks too conservative, not only in case his date shows up dressed casually, but even just by himself, leaving aside whichever style she has chosen. If he wears his black jacket, his gray shirt, his plaid tie, his tweed pants and leather shoes, won’t he look awkwardly traditional next to her, should she come dressed, say, in jeans, a sweater and a raincoat? Of course he could cheat: he could examine her through the peephole and, according to how he’d see her arrive, decide at the very last moment to keep his tie on or, in a second, pull it off to appear just as informally dressed as she.
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