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Rivera: I didn’t want to focus on what TV and film have mostly focused on, which is mostly hetero, white, vanilla, and/or able-bodied sex. I can’t back this up with stats at this moment, but I strongly feel that the majority of people don’t fall into some, not to mention all of those categories. I really want this show to explore stories from people with lived experiences that can’t be found on a streaming service. I feel like this world is made up mostly of marginalized communities and that the stories being shared should reflect that. Doing so might help all of us be better sexual partners. Taking into account that sex is different for everyone might help you be more patient, more willing to listen, and maybe even more likely to explore, all traits that I think make for healthy partners.
TMS: The general vibe I get from the podcast is that everyone can, and does, have sex if they want to, so it’d be best if we stopped treating it as such a stigma. I imagine you’ve had to deal with your fair share of assumptions since you created the podcast, how do you deal with that? Heaven The moment your heart stopped mine changed forever phone case
Rivera: I think one of the biggest assumptions about this podcast is that it’s scandalous. In some ways, it can be, but it’s not meant to be a raunchy confessional type of show. I like to explain to people that while we do have episodes with sex workers or people with certain lifestyles, we’re not just asking these guests stories about some crazy orgy sex they’ve had (though that will be one of the questions), we’re also asking them who they are and what having this kind of sex means to them. I think there’s more to sex than toys and hookups: there’s sexual freedom and empowerment. There’s self-respect and respect for others. I think every person’s sexual history tells a bigger story.
TMS: What is “the norm” when it comes to sex, anyway? And why do you think people are seen as doing it outside the norm at all? Why do you think people are so concerned about how consenting adults are having sex?
Rivera: I think the “norm” is white and able-bodied. Even with some queer representation, you see queer people who are able-bodied, white, and have well-paying jobs. That’s not necessarily the case for not just queer people but for everyone. One of our most recent guests is a blind woman who shared with me that people are surprised that she has sex at all. I think some people have a hard time imagining people of certain communities or experiences being sexual because it’s not talked about or depicted in TV or film. They might think of it as “out of the norm” when they see someone with cerebral palsy posting about hiring sex workers, which is what one of our previous guests does. To him it’s normal, but to the outside world, it kind of isn’t.