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Back in the old days I arrived at work to find several standing around the xray box studying the pic….displayed was an image of a TV bulb (remember is the 70’s) in a man’s rectum. Reason for being there…my kid was playing with it and must have left standing on toilet seat and in the dark didn’t notice it when I sat down.

  • Bulbs still looked the same back then…round glass side and other end with the fittings. So mind boggles how it managed to be upright on the seat ….really !! do they think the medical profession are numpties
  • Vibrator- doc looked at the X-rays at the desk and wondered, out loud, if the Pt wanted it removed, or just needed the batteries changed. The end was fuzzy, so it was still on. I bet that’s the last time that Pt passes out at a frat party…
  • You know you’re having an interesting day when you give transfer report, and the nurse at the next facility says “yeah we know him, last time he shoved a phone up his butt.” I was speechless. Finally I said, “what, like a trimline off a wall??” No apparently a little bitty nokia portable.

In the old Sick kids, there was a board in one of the hallways of things that children had choked on…lots of coins, pacifiers, doll parts, toy cars…you get the idea. They should make a board of things adults stuck up their butts for its and giggles.

I am an NP in urology and thank you for all the funny stories, I cant top any of them. There was a patient who had a “lips” tattoo on his butt. I was confused and asked my collaborator MD and he said it means you can kiss my ass!

My BFF is a nurse, her best story was shot glass inserted open side first so it created a vacuum and his sphincter was sucking it in further. A comment from the peanut gallery a curtain down (who overheard everything going on): “You know, I firmly believe in using objects for their intended purpose”

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