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The Best Antidepressant Is A Sewing Machine And A Room Full Of Fabric Shirt, hoodie, tank top
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Nine days after her sister was killed, Aman organised the funeral. “At eight-months pregnant, I had her body brought across state lines, viewed her disfigured face, found a restoration specialist and got the funeral arranged in a pandemic,” she wrote. Dulai’s face was so badly damaged that an expert had to be flown in from Missouri to do 15 hours of reconstructive surgery, so she looked presentable for an open casket. “The detective said the coroner couldn’t handle [seeing the injuries to Dulai] and they do this as a living,” Aman said. “I understood that I have to be the person to be strong for my parents.” Her father wrote, “It is like my heart is going to stop at any moment, but it doesn’t.”
A week later, Aman gave birth to a son she had “spent the last year going through IVF for.” He ended up in the NICU; she thinks it was because of the stress. In the delivery room, as the doctor whisked her baby boy away to the NICU, Aman and her husband gave each other a look, and they realized they had to name him what Dulai had wanted him to be named: Teghbir, which means brave warrior. “I feel like [Herleen’s death] took away from the emotions that you’re supposed to have when you deliver a baby,” she said. “I associated my son with her passing away.”
On 20th November, Aman spoke at Kubiak’s bail hearing in Las Vegas, as he watched from a prison video feed. “Just for reference, since you will never meet Herleen, people thought we looked alike. Our voices sounded similar and we laughed the same. But she was about two inches taller than me and markedly more beautiful,” Aman said, her voice cracking and shaking. “When she walked into a room, her aura of gentle lightness would fill all those present. When you look at me and at pictures of my sister’s body, it will allow you to visualize what must have occurred to create that transformation.” Kubiak looked on, “emotionless,” Elliott said. “The most common emotion after a murder like this… is relief. It’s not shame. It’s not guilt,” Monckton-Smith said. He was denied bail.
Elliott thinks that the qualities that made Dulai a wonderful person are what may have led to her death. “I don’t think I ever will meet someone with the biggest amount of love in their heart as Herleen,” she said. “When you do have such a loving heart that makes you instantaneously vulnerable.”
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